Childhood with Mama

My first impression of God was when I was a little kid. When we were coming up we were so poor that we needed to wonder where we were going. So I used to tell my mother that I was going to ask God for certain things. But when we didn’t get them I wanted to know why God wasn’t helping us some more. So my mother told me one time well you ain’t spose to question God. So I told her, well there ain’t no sense in me talking to God because God can’t find out what I need if I can’t ask questions so there ain’t no sense in me believing in him.

A little rebellion

So after I got older I knew there was a God but I didn’t too much believe in God. And we went to church but my mother used to whip me to make me go to church. When she would send me to church on my own I wouldn’t go. I would go over to people’s houses and stuff to keep from goin to church. So when I got older and wanted to go, she wouldn’t let me go to church no more. So when I turned 18 I stopped going for a while. I still believed in God but I just didn’t want to do certain things then.

Sympathetic Preacher

But later on when I got to be 19 I started to go to church with a friend of mine and I liked it because the preacher was so nice. He seemed to be sympathetic. He would come to me and just sit down and talk to me and stuff. He told me that when I think about God, I should believe because God was always on my side. I told him how poor we was and that my mother would pick bad men—she liked them rather than good men. I went to church with that preacher until I was about 21.

Marijuana and the Devil in Charge

And then I got hooked on marijuana and I was drinking beer. And I wasn’t going to church for a while. I was just out there on the streets. So I was working—doin chrome plating and gold plating and a friend of mine told me, “Say man, come here I want to show you something to put this in your marijuana and this right here, man, will get you higher than what you’ve ever been.” So I tried it and I wound up doing crack cocaine.  I had gotten married to Betty when I was about thirty. I had been married for two years but for eight years I was hooked on crack. And I was surprised that Betty stayed with me. She had started going to this Holy Ghost Church. She said that the preacher told her that what I was doing wasn’t me. He said it wasn’t nothin but the devil and I would change.

Lots of Payments to Church

I started to go to the Holy Ghost Church too, and when I started going there I liked it, but I didn’t like going to church six days a week. And the preacher would say to give to the church til it hurt. We chipped in at Sunday School and at Bible Study. We had lunches there and we paid for our lunch too. And we stayed there til noon and but would go back and stayed around til evening time and we had an evening meal and we paid $5 for our meal. We had service after that til 8pm, then we’d go home. I was in the choir so the next day they had choir rehearsal and you paid for that too. And every time we went there we had to pay for it.

Good and Bad Advice

So one day I watched Alice get saved. Later Alice started telling me the things I needed to do right. And I started feeling guilty. The preacher would call me up there and asked me to testify about the drugs—that I had got off of them. But truth was that I would do them every now and then. Still he wanted me to testify­­ to get up and tell some lies and stuff like I was completely off of them. I wasn’t willing to do that.

“Give til it hurts!”

So back at the Holy Ghost church the preacher said look here, I’m going to give a hundred dollars I want y’all to match it. And then the deacon got up and said I’m going to give $50 and I want y’all to match it. But come to find out Alice – she was the secretary – told me about what was going on—and that they were crooked preachers because the money that they give at church – they come back in the office and ask for their $100 and their $50 back. Then the Preacher got up and said: “One of the brothers gave me a boat and I want some of y’all to go with me. But Alice found out that the preacher had paid for the boat from church funds. So a friend of mine went to a Baptist church and told me about it.

I stopped tithing and I would give $10 a week. And then the preacher got up and said to the people, “Whoever gave $10 needs to quit their job and get a new job. So I told Alice, “He don’t have to worry about it because next week I’m going to give $5.”

“Get a house!”

One time that preacher told us: God had put on my mind whoever wants to get a house, y’all start saving and God is going to give you a house. So about 5 years later he jumped up and he said y’all need to start looking for a house. So my wife told me that we needed to look for a house. But in that community every time we wanted to get financing for a house we were turned down. So my wife said we are going to have to move out to another area.

So a real estate lady brought us out to another community and we found a house. But one of our conditions was that there had to be a close-by bus stop. So the lady said, “Look across the street.” And there was a bus stop.  Ain’t that something? We couldn’t get a house in the other community and there we are with a  bus stop right across the street. Betty still wanted to go to that Holy Ghost church, but it took 45 minutes to get there from our new house. And sometimes I would get a flat or something and I’d be about half way broke. I told the pastor at the Holy Ghost church that I needed some tires. The pastor said, “Well Brother Carl, I’m going to have to talk to the deacons and I’ll let you know.” I said okay, but he never did let me know. And we asked the preacher at the Holy Ghost church to come and bless our house, but he never did come

A friend with an alternative…but…

A friend of mine went to a Baptist church and told me about it. I had heard about it and he said, “Man why don’t you come to my church. Come and visit.” So I went and visited the Baptist church that was in a nearby community and someone was singing “This Life of Jesus.” Well I really got into it, I was going down the aisle, and swaying and singing, and some people were saying that I was acting a fool. Now to me I wasn’t acting a fool, but that day I was saved. And that same day I gave up drugs and beer, and I wasn’t smoking no weed. The only thing I didn’t give up was cigarettes and I was praying to God that I could give them up.

A Voice from the past

Now the preacher at the Holy Ghost church found out that I got saved at a Baptist church and he started leaning on me to come and testify about these things. But when he saw me again he said,” I would think if you were saved, you could give up the cigarettes too.” He would preach from a clear plastic podium, and he said when you quit smoking you’re supposed to put the packs up here. And you could see about ten packs of cigarettes up there on the podium.  

“Get a job!”

I had known some other preachers and came to the conclusion that they were all about money, I mean they were sucking you dry.  Like that Holy Ghost church, they were really sucking me dry. Betty asked me what was I going to do? And I said we have bills we need to pay. I can’t keep giving until it hurts. So I decided to give what I could. So when that preacher told me that I needed to get another (better paying) job… I said mmmhuh. He was worried about how much money we were giving. So I said, well he don’t have to worry about that no more. I don’t know – I just stopped trusting him.

Denial of being a sinner

Also they wanted me to stand up and testify but just about all the good stuff. And I no longer could do that. When I was at that church I still had a marijuana and beer habit. I was still a sinner. But they didn’t want to hear that.

He would push me

At the Holy Ghost church you would be standing in the aisle and when you went up the preacher would touch you and when he did that you were sposed to fall down. When I didn’t fall down, the pastor pushed me. Well I didn’t like that. So the deacons and others talked to me outside of church and said that when the preacher touches you, you are supposed to fall [or faint in the spirit]. And I said that I didn’t feel nothing. And was not going to fake-fall So after going to that church for 14 years, I told Betty, let’s go. We aren’t coming here no more.

Changing our Church

I talked to my wife Betty about going to a closer church. And about a year and 6 months later I was going down the freeway and had another flat. So I called a neighbor across the street and he came to the freeway and got me and I got another tire. And Betty said, well what are we going to do about church? So I said we’re going to that church close to our neighborhood.

Pastor Darrel

So we went to Pastor Darrel’s church and when we walked in it was a mixed church [blacks and whites] and everybody greeted us and everything. They were real friendly. And the pastor asked us where we stayed and the pastor wanted to know where we were going to church. And I told him. I mentioned that the pastor there wouldn’t come and bless our house, so pastor Darrel said, “Well if he won’t do it, I’ll come and do it.” And he did. So the next week the new church was having a dinner. And I thought it would be like the Holy Ghost church where we had to pay. So we didn’t go. And we went to Pastor Darrel’s church for another week or two and they were having another dinner. And one of the members stopped me and Betty at the door. She said, “Now ya’ll come on in here. And when we went in I thought I’d died and went to heaven. Everything was set up real nice and I said to Betty I wonder how much this is gonna cost? Then we found out it was free. So we ate what we wanted and we were even able to take home some chicken. By the way, I recalled that the pastor at the Holy Ghost church had a steak made just for him. No special treatment for the pastor at this church.  

Also, all those bad habits I had, when I started going to this Baptist church  I’m at now, all of those habits just stopped--everything eventually.

Let’s go fishing!

And another thing—I had wanted to go fishing when I was at the other church, but was never asked to go. But Pastor Darrel asked me if I wanted to go fishing. He said he had a boat. I exclaimed, “You got a boat?” And later another church member asked me if I wanted to go fishing with him. And then another guy said Carl, I’ll come pick you up Friday to go fishing. I said to Betty, “I’ve already got three people to ask me to go fishing on their boats!” Betty said, “We’re so blessed here at this church.” Anyway, the last guy that asked me, we went fishing and we caught a mess of catfish and other stuff and he let me have every one of them. And that guy said that he wasn’t like these “catch and release” guys. He wanted to eat what he caught. I had gone with those first two guys and they believed in catch and release. So I didn’t go back fishing with them.

Miracle Boat

Then one day the pastor came up to me and said, Carl, the Lord told me that you need a boat. Me and Betty had been looking for an aluminum boat that I could put on the back of my truck. But I had not told Pastor Darrel that we were looking for a boat. Anyway, Pastor Darrel talked to somebody and found out he had a boat that might work for me. So the pastor told me to go to this other city and see the boat. It was a 14 foot boat AND it had a motor on it. The pastor had arranged to get me that boat, a trailer and all. So he or they gave me that boat.

Becoming a Servant

One time the deacon got up and said that we’re going to have to get somebody to clean up the church—even though the church was hurting for money. So I told him, Pastor, I’ll clean it up for nothing. Later the pastor told me, “No, Brother Carl I don’t want you to do that, so I’ll pay you $140 to clean up. So I said, Okay. I had been to other churches that asked for money, but here this church is giving me a paying job.

Thank God

So I thanked God for sending me there. The pastor let me know that some of the people in the church thought there were too many blacks coming to church, including one man that was kind of rich. He had built some things at the church, but he let the pastor know he wasn’t happy with all the blacks. So him and his wife decided to move to another church to get away from all the blacks. So they bought a house in another State. And guess who moved in right next door to him? Chuckle. So he wasn’t getting away from us like he wanted.

Good Shepherd

Pastor Darrel would come and visit us at our home, you didn’t have to call him. So I commented on that and he said, well, the Lord told me to come see you. That’s one reason I really like that church. And I really like some particular members of the church. I’ve seen other preachers, but pastor Darrel, I really believe that God had a hold of him.

So since we’ve been going there and have become part of the church, when I wake up I’m always thinking, is there something I need to do at church? Do I need to go clean or something? And then Betty told me that God was telling her that he had a job for her, but she didn’t know what it was. So finally God led her to start a ministry for the homeless and the needy, helping people get this and that stuff that they needed. Man, she was a go-getter.

Oh, and one last thing--the people at the church asked me if I would be a deacon. I said no, that’s not something I need to do. Let someone else take that on.

[From the Editor: When I heard this story I again thought of how important it is for Christ followers to do as Jesus did, and love one another, to reach out to those in need. And what a difference that made in Carl’s faith journey. He had experienced and is experiencing Christ Alive in church people. Also he discovered that even people who go to church are sinners and need more saving.  It is a process. – GCC ]